Its really uncanny how even when my wife is asleep she can see me. When I was young my father had a similar ability to know what I was doing and could appear through solid matter – walls – and stop me from whatever it was I was doing at the time.
The other evening after she’d gone to bed for the evening I grabbed a bag of my favorite potato chips and was quietly munching away while watching some TV, when seemingly out of nowhere there she stood in front of me hands on hips giving me The Look! She admonished me in a stern tone – the kind my mother used to use – to put the bag of chips back where I found them and stop eating them.
Seriously!!!? How does she know what i’m doing? I mean, come on! I had purposely waited 30 minutes to make sure she was asleep before it entered my mind that there was something calling my name from the kitchen and upon further investigation it was coming from the Martin’s Ruffle cut BBQ chip bag. I could hear each one of those delicious morsels calling my name in harmony no less. However, 16 chips into my blissful, late evening randevu with this wonderful, scrumptious. delectable potato creations there she stood.
But no… it was not to be. My blissful reunion with that bag of chips was very short-lived when I looked up to see the face of my beautiful wife giving me that sideways look that means stop what you’re doing right now or else. So, with my head hanging like a whipped pup I closed the bag and put them back in the kitchen. Mind you, she watched the entire time to make sure I’d actually closed the bag and put it away before going back to bed. Not 30 seconds later she was back out letting me to know I had her undivided attention and she was watching me. It would have been fruitless to attempt a rescue of that bag of chips a second time so I turned everything off and went to bed myself. Happy in the knowledge that her powerful all-seeing vision is limited by distance. That bag of chips will be mind soon enough.