I’m sure by now everyone has seen the emails circulating around the internet; you know the ones… the messages that come with about 12 to 20 images of people shopping at their local Wal-mart. What gets me is how do some of these folks get past security to even get through the front door? I’m not convinced they should be allowed to run loose let alone be by themselves. These people scare me! Which is why, when my wife shops at Wal-mart I keep my behind in the car.
I recently received a fresh batch of the above mentioned images in an email from my daughter. For those of you who know my beloved first born you know she’s just as unhinged as the old man, but I do believe she gets a perverse pleasure out of sending me these images for the sole purpose of causing me to have nightmares. Now it bares mentioning that on one ocassion while I was sitting safely in my car waiting for my brave wife to exit the Wal-mart I witnessed a rather large man coming out of the doors – (have you ever noticed that Wal-mart contributes to the weirdo mind-set by setting the in door where the out door should and vise-versa. The damned things are backwards!)
Anyway, this rather large, hairy man came out of the store and was walking away from me towards his car. I swear I was trying my level best not to look but my eyes would not obey me; my gaze was inexorably drawn to the large man as he walked away from me with at least 3/4 of his butt crack sticking out of the top of his trousers that were all but falling down to his knees. It took all my self-control to stop myself from hanging out the window of my car and screaming at the top of my lungs, “for God’s sake there are children present; pull up your damned pants!” But no… it was not to be. At least not until he bent over to get in his trunk and then stood up and sure as I’m sitting here the pants literally fell to his knees. Thank GOD he had on a T-shirt on that would cover a Volkswagen or God only knows what would have shown itself.
What is it about Wal-mart that brings these people out from where ever they hide themselves? I’ve never seen this sort of thing at K-mart, Sears, Boscovs, et, al… Only at Wal-mart!
So, the images… As I’m scrolling down through the message and the images reading the captions I get to this one with a lady who I swear had her nearly see through pink dress-like-thing painted on. It was all very lumpy and if I recall correctly the caption mentioned something about this garment looking like a garbage back filled with creamed corn and door knobs. (thanks daughter…. I had to carefully clean coffee from my laptop keyboard and screen after that one.)
Are they aware that they look abnormal, or is abnormal the new normal and I’m just a weirdo?